TGIF

Thank goodness it's the weekend. As my waistline continues to expand, it seems like my weeks are feeling longer and longer. I "almost" allowed my day to be ruined but something unimportant. Notice, I said almost. I turned lemons into lemonade. I completed my glucose screening today and made the call to my boss to see if I could just work from home the rest of the day...brillant. It was the best solution for a cranky mama! I avoided my commute, was able to do some chores, surprised E when he came home from school, and took a late lunch with the boys. Now the work day had ended and I am in a fine mood. Let's see what the rest of the weekend holds. Tomorrow I am thinking a trip to the farmer's market and a my sister's soccer game will do.

Have a great weekend everyone!

31 months, 7 days

That is is how old my sweet baby boy is today. I wish I could have kept up with posting on regular interval but life takes over and you just have to accept it. So I figured today was as a good a day as any to post about my little handsome.

Dear E,

It is still hard for me to imagine you are over 2.5 years old but at the same time I can hardly remmeber the days when you weren't here.  You are fully of energy and personality.

STATS:
Height-38 inches tall
Weight- 32 lbs
Clothing Size- Mostly 3T is all tops, 3T in bottoms only if the waist band is adjustable and only for length, other wise if is 2Ts for your narrow waist
Shoe Size- 9.5 and moving towards a size 10
You are shaped just like your daddy, long and tall. Seeing you two walk side by side makes be chuckle because you look like a mini version of your daddy.

Likes:

Some of your Favorite Food- TJs Cereal Bars (every morning! ), Fruit- Apples, Grapes, Cantelope, Pears, Honeydew, Blueberries, Bananas just to name a few, You love breakfast foods-Eggs, Bacon, Oatmeal, Pancake, Waffles, French Toast, Yogurt, Cereal, Spaghetti is your favorite meal, Peanut Butter Sandwiches are the perfect lunch, and of course the typical toddler favs like pizza, chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, and frend fries. Still not real vegetables will cross you lips unless it is in a pouch...we are working on that!
   -Now when we go to Five Guys, you almost demand your own burger so mama is saving calories while fighting for her burger.
   -You love to "dip" you foods. You love the spicy Italian olive oil dip at Carrabas.
   - Mama has put her love for chips on you. Sometimes we have a "chip picnic" on the family room floor after work where we eat regular chips and dip.
*You are pretty good eater and we are working to expand your palate. Mama and daddy work hard to ensure that if you are eating "toddler" food they are of good quaility, whole grain, etc.

Acttivities: Playing outside is stll number 1-riding bikes, digging in dirt, blowing bubbles, running and more running, playing with trains is a daily occurance, racing cars of all shapes and sizes, trucks are awesome and can be used for transporting things, and building with blocks or Legos is awesome. We do a lot of reading as well and have expanded your books beyond board books. We do allow you to watch some TV and it is limited to SPROUT or PBS. Without a doubt your favorite show is Caliou and you ask to watch it often.  You love doing crafts, coloring, and painting which keeps mama busy for ideas on Pinterest!

Your vocabulary has expanded so much over the past 6 months. We love hearing all your new phrases and you can mimic just about any word/sound. You love going to your playschool class on Friday and the teachers compliment us on your manners and development. You are already signed up for two days in the Fall.

I could probably go one forever about all the cool things you do and say but I will wrap it by saying, you are an amazing child who has brought us more joy than we could imagine. I love you to the moon and back.

Accepting Imperfect

While I have made the whole point of this blog to be about accepting the "imperfect" parts of my life, it is still tough at times to do. I had one of those weekends where I was struggling to accept the less than perfect. I struggled with my tiredness from pregnancy, my round figure, this stupid cold I can't kick, my less than perfect marriage...you name it. And so you know where that got me? NO WHERE except depressed and lethargic. So on Saturday afternoon I "got over myself." This is a common phrase my husband and I use to remind each other that life isn't that bad and we need to suck it up. So after a nice hot shower (with no interruptions) and a good nap, I got about the business of "getting over myself." I took E outside to play while my husband labored over a new flower bed in our backyard. I enjoyed myself and let go. It made all the difference and then came the rain. There is something about a good rain storm or a rainy day that washes away, physically and symbolically, the funk. So yet again, I am ready to accept and enjoy my imperfection.

The Comparison Game and other randomness...

Why is it that women have this innate gene that causes them to compare themselves to one another? Men may certainly do this as well but since I am indeed a woman, I can only speak from that perspective. We start out early by comparing clothes, hair styles, and the obsession over the "perfect" body. I can say from my experiences that this does not get better as we merge into motherhood. In fact, if anything, I think it gets worse. We compare ourselves to other moms we respect and admire with little really insight to their daily lives. We allow ourselves to feel inadequate if we don't measure up to this mama in this way or that way. We seek approval from other mamas we know as if our own instincts are not good enough. I am all for fellowship and sharing in the community of motherhood but at some point you have to trust your gut and just know you are doing the best for YOUR family. This pregnancy is all about learning life lessons and this has been one of my light bulb moments in the past few days.

I am good enough, my instincts and decisions are just right for me and my family. In my 32 years, I have managed to get where I am today by the decisions my parents made for me and later the decision I made for myself. And I have to say, I think I turned out pretty good. This all started to hit me over the past weekend when I attended my 10 year college reunion and spent time with a beautiful group of women, all living completely different lives which suit them perfectly.

However, the real light bulb moment came to me yesterday as I sat in my OB's office. First of all, I have to say I really love her...no I mean really. During my pregnancy with E, I had most of my primary care visits with Jill, a CNM. I loved her too and was devastated when I learned that she was leaving to pursue other career opportunities within my HMO prior to this pregnancy. So fast forward to December when I first met my new OB, she was definitely different that my CNM. She was young, African American, full of energy and super tall nothing at all like my middle aged, motherly midwife. Her enthusiasm for my pregnancy took me back. I thought she might have actually been more excited that I was. Over the past few months, our relationship and my trust in her has grown. Above all else she supports me and the health of my baby. Along the way, we have traded e-mails and phone calls. She is quick to respond to me and my concerns. She is part counselor and part doctor.

So back to my original point....It was during our visit yesterday when discussing my labor and delivery plans, that it clicked. I don't have to measure up to anyone else's standard. I can trust my own instincts and in the end that is really what is best for all of us. I don't need to seek outside approval from my friends, blogs, chat room, or anything else. In that acknowledgement came a great sense of freedom. I am blessed to be surrounded by a close circle of friends, some mamas and some not who have ridden the wave of my emotions and entertained my varying views. In the end, I know they support ME no matter what I decide and that is a good feeling. Sometimes that is the best thing a woman can ask for.

Sweet Moments

After finding out I was expecting baby #2, I made a conscious decision not to waste the remaining one on one time I had with E. While of course I am excited about meeting our new baby, I didn't want to let these days where it is just him and I slip away. I have taken time to go to lunch together, visit friends, hang out at local parks, have pj days, and enjoy our one on one time together. One such opportunity presented itself earlier this week. Unfortunately, my husband told me in the wee hours of Monday morning that he was feeling pretty awful and asked if I could stay home. Of course! After spending a good part of the weekend on the road attending my 10 year college reunion (more on that at another time), I was more than happy to take another day at home. So when E woke up before 7am, it was no big deal. I just pulled him into our bed since NK had relocated to the couch. He watched his PBS programming while I continued to doze. We went downstairs, had breakfast and enjoyed a leisurely morning while NK took time to sleep/rest. With the outside temps climbing, I decided it would be a good idea to get E outside for some water play. So out came the baby pool and sprinkler! It was quite a treat for a mid-April day and we loved every minute. The rest of the day followed our normal routine with lunch, nap, playtime, dinnertime, bath time, etc. It was an amazing day for E and I. I was smiling from ear to ear and relishing in our time together. I even took some time during his nap to look through the journey of his life so far. This boy, this amazing soul, stole my heart well before his birth. At any given time, he has both my and his daddy's hearts in the palm of his tiny hand. So even on a day like today when he woke me up several time through the night, I can still say I love being his mama.

Going against the grain...Allergies

From the time my son was 7 weeks old, we discovered that at certain times of year he had cold like symptoms that seemed to persist for a week or more. There was no fever, no colored mucus, but lots of congestion. For the most part, my husband and I assumed it was some minor cold and treated the symptoms as best we could with pain reliever, a cool mist humidifier, and a nasal aspirator. It took a little while to figure out what was going on but finally in November 2010 after spending another Halloween with a fussy baby, he was diagnosed with seasonal allergies by his pediatrician. The recommendation was to give him 1/2 a teaspoon of children's Cetirizine (generic Zyrtec) until the first snowfall. This seemed to help for a little while and we made it through early spring with no real issues. We would give him the medicine when the symptoms started and slowly weaned him as the weather conditions seemed to improve.

It wasn't until later summer, August 2011 I noticed again he was miserable. Again, we went to the pediatrician and this time she recommended a prescription nasal spray. Desperate to help him "feel" better, I accepted the advice, ordered the prescription, and went on my way.

Then once again in March the symptoms started to flare up. I have no doubt the first part was truly a cold but once that cleared up the allergy related symptoms continued. We upped his dose of Zyrtec...no change. We adding in the nasal spray....little change. In addition to the normal symptoms the severe congestion led to a cough and then I became worried. E had a horrible URI back in the winter where wheezing led to x rays, a nebulizer, and a steroid. Paranoid that my son might indeed be wheezing, and even more afraid of an asthma diagnosis, I made an appointment to see the pediatrician. Luckily, his chest was completely clear! His ped and I talked at length about his symptoms and she recommended another prescription. What, wait?!? STOP! I politely asked if this would be over medicating him to why she replied no and that it would only be for a short period of time. We could also eventually scale back and determine which ones were helping and those that did not. Again, seeking relief we went out the pharmacy and picked up the prescription which he was to take at night. After getting back home, I told my husband what the doctor had recommended. His response, "we never should have given him anything." And you know what I agreed! Nothing was really making it better except those steam showers and suction his nose. So right then, we decided that the next day we would take him off all allergy related medicine and see what happened. At the same time one of my college friend's posted some homeopathic ways to treat allergies without using medicine...needless to say I was inspired.

Starting on March 28, we took him off everything except his daily multivitamin and fluoride drops (we have well water). I cleaned his room and kept the windows shut. My husband changed our home air filters. I gave him some herbal tea with honey at first to help with the cough. The results have been AMAZING. Within days the runny nose stopped, the cough went away and he is back to normal. The pollen count continues to be high and E is spending plenty of time outdoors.

Now let me take a step back and say this situation has not caused me to wage a war on Western medicine or seek a new pediatrician. I honestly believe our pediatrician was trying to address the concerns of a worried mother. She is super compassionate and she is great with E. And honestly, we don't see her that often. We are blessed that E has been a pretty healthy kid and for the most part we apply common sense/homeopathic practices to treat things at home. It has however, made me resume my skepticism of traditional medicine and the idea that a pill or syrup is always the way to address an ailment. NK and I are not medicine people. Sure we may take Nyquil when we have a bad cold (pregnancy not withstanding), pop a Tums for heartburn, or take some pain reliever for a head or body ache. But this is a rarity, we generally just suffer through and use a homeopathic way to treat the issue. Going forward, I will be looking a little harder at how I let doctor's treat/medicate not only my children but myself. I have no worry for my husband because he generally refuses to go tot he doctor or take medicine. This has also peaked my interest in alternative medicine options for our family. I have already added fish oil back into my daily vitamin and we have ordered probiotics that we will start taking daily. I am drinking organic herbal pregnancy tea daily. I also have renewed faith in the power of foods to treat as well.

Stay tuned...the crunchy train has refueled and is leaving the station!

Learning as I go

As I looking back on the past months of this pregnancy, I can't help but reflect on the lessons I have already learned. Some of these lessons were started when I had E but it has taken until this pregnancy for me to fully embrace them.

1) A clean house isn't important. -I do not mean that we have decided to let our house turn to filth but there is a different sense of importance. There will always be clutter, there will be chores to be done, but my son will not be 2 forever. Life only happens once so it is important so don't waste it.

2) Pajama Days are awesome.- I no longer feel ANY guilt what so ever on the days we stay in on pjs until the afternoon. There is something about staying in your pjs which forces you to take the day at a slower pace, to stay a little more relaxed.

3) Some things will have to wait.- This pregnancy has left me much more tired and most recently with lower back pain. At times, I am physically unable to do the things I need or want to do. And while it is frustrating at times, I am learning to let go.

So there they are, just a few tidbits I have picked up along the way on this journey called motherhood. I will do doubt continue to add to this list but for today, this were the one laid upon my heart.

Our big purchase

So today we made a big purchase and not one you would expect. Today I purchased a headstone for my father's grave. As you may remember, my father passed away last year. I have lots offeelings and emotions connected to this purchase as you can imagine but in the end I am happy to be a position to be able to do it. As I met with the cemetery rep today, I thought about how I would be attending my 10 year college reunion next weekend. That's right, 10 years! I also thought back to the man who helped make that dream possible, the man who financially supported me whenever I needed it so it seemed only right that I would return the favor. It was an amazing sense of independence to be able to pick it our and design it myself with little care to what any one else thought or wanted. This was not the case when I helped to plan his funeral and will always bring me a bit of resentment. But today, I did what no one else in my immediate family is financially able to do. So from now one when I take my son, and later my daughter, to visit their "Paw Paul", they will have a beautiful spot to look upon. My father deserved much better than the ending he was given but now at least my husband and I can be proud that we gave him the honor and respect he deserves.

Consignment Sales Rock!

This weekend I headed to a local consignment sale to see what deals I might be able to score for the kiddos. I had debated going all week but opted to go on the 50% off day. I figured is they had things great, if not oh well. I had been holding off on buying any girl clothes for the past few weeks and had instead been investing in some girly clother diapers and accessories. However, at half price who could resist? I first visited the toddler boys section and was pleasantly surprised at the things I found for E. I added some summer outfits, t shirts, short overalls (love), a pair of play shoes, and some pjs...score! Now onto the baby girl section...WOWZERS! I managed to use some discretion but did not pass over great deals on sleepers and dresses, oh the dresses! The dresses with bloomers to match! I was smart enough to plan out what sizes should would be wearing when as to not waste money on things she would never wear. After I was done with my mad dash shopping, did I mention my friend and I brought our two year old boys? I threw the bag onthe counter and waited with bated breath hoping I didn't spend too much. After the cashiers were done removing hangers and folding clothes, she announced my total $55.39. Holy cow, $55 bucks for all of the stuff. I smiled, thanked them for their help, and took my trash bag full of clothes to the car. I have vowed to never again go to the full price day and am relished in my purchases, already washed and in use for the boy.

Now don't ask me about my splurge at Carter's yesterday...it couldn't be helped. But at least it was on sale?