The last night

As I sit here at the computer, I am mess of conflicting emotions.  Tomorrow is the big day when we finally get to meet the baby girl everyone has been dreaming about since early spring when we found out her gender. There seems to be so much excitement surrounding her arrival but I am just not there... yet. Maybe you call it denial but it seems surreal to me that these are the last hours I will be pregnant, that the boy I have loved for nearly three years will now be sharing that love with his sister, or that my husband transform into an amazing father. Don't get me wrong, I am happy and feel incredibly blessed to be walking through this journey again. I just can't seem to grasp the reality of it all. My bags are packed, the plan for E is in place, and the to do list is complete. We have cleaned the house, trimmed the yard, stocked up on neccessities, you name it it has probably been done. In fact, I am now surrounded by the smell of lemony fresh Lysol as NK just finished mopping the downstairs. :o) I guess in life there are some things you just have to experience first hand, no amount of imagining can suffice. So for now, I will make myself a cup of tea (my last beverage or food until after my surgery), plop on the couch, and wait for the sleepiness to set.

38 weeks

OK, so maybe I will finally have to abandon my assumption that this baby girl will come early. She seems to be incredibly comfortable in the womb and hasn't dropped yet. My Braxton Hicks contractions seem to have subsided and other than some minor aches, there is no sign of forward progression. That being said, I am BEAT! I am working my normal office hours this week (9.5 hrs in the office plus approx, 1 hr, 45 min commute) with my last day being Friday. My saving grace this week is that I am able to work from home today. I have struggled through these last weeks, emotionally, just wanting to throw in the towel and stay home until the baby is born but practically speaking that wasn't a good option. So my plan for next week is to maybe work a few hours here and there until we head to the hospital on Thursday morning. Wow! So here goes another day...Happy Hump Day!

13 days or less ...

Today is Friday the 13th and I have 13 days to go before my schedule csection. At my doctor's visit earlier this week I showed no signs of progression, so not dialated or effaced. I still can't help but feel like at any point my water could break and change the whole game plan. This is what happened with Emory. I think I may have reached 1 cm and around 20% effacement by 38 weeks. I was fully prepared to wait until after my due date to deliver ( September 16). Then boom!  At 8:15pm on Labor Day my water broke like a giant water balloon and everything was set in motion. Emory was delivered in the early hours of September 8, 8 whole days before my due date. My current scheduled date is 6 days before my due date. I have felt the whole time that she would come early which has led me to prepare everything as to not be caught off guard. Everything is set with the exception of a just a few small things that are really of no consequence. So for now, I wait.  I have done some "nesting" this morning and vacuumed all three of our vehcles, now searching for something else meaningful....

Life Lessons....

Just a few random lessons and thoughts that are on my mind this evening....

1) The best part of being an adult is you get to choose the company you keep. For me personally, I no longer choose to be around people who are negative or have WAY too much drama.

2) Be a real grown-up, don't hide behind a computer screen. If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it on line.

3) Old friends are the best, the ones who call you out of the blue and pick up where you left off no matter how long it has been.