Learning as we go.

Since my son started pre-K last year, I have struggled with the need to feel accepted or gain approval from others. Once my children started to enter the "world", I felt more judged.  I realize now that all of those feelings were not totally about concern for my son and much more about me.  And that makes me a little sad because I know my own internal drama caused me to react badly and put unnecessary stress on my family.   But I am a work in progress.  I no longer view my children's actions as a negative reflection on me (most of the time).  Just like me, they was created with free will.  We made a choice to focus on the positive.   A few moments of misbehavior during an entire day doesn't equal a bad day. We encourage good behavior and remind them to show their teachers their best.

 If one of our children has an issue during their school day, it is most certainly addressed by talking to them about the issue, explaining why it is was a bad choice, and together discussing a plan for making a better choice next time.   But that is is it.  We don't dwell, no harping.  Quite frankly at this age, they only kind of remember what even happened!  It has made a huge difference in our family life.  Both of our children are excelling in school! Funny how that works, huh?

Yesterday was report card day for both of our children.  Neither of them get real grades at this point.  I had a conference with L's teacher this week and she decoded the grading system for me so I knew what to expect.

For Emory, we simply looked over it for comparison to last quarter and he is doing great (by our standards) in all areas.   That is all that matters to us.   We made sure to tell him how great his report card was.  Honestly, I don't think he has any real idea what any of it really means just that mommy and daddy are praising him.  I want to be sure I use this time to continue to use positive reinforcement and not let my feelings get in the way.

My kids are both happy and learning, how can I possibly ask for anything more?!

Thoughts on 2015 finances and budgeting

Like many other people, one of my goals for 2015 is to regain a better handle of our finances.  Our financial situation has improved this year. NPK worked hard to earn a pay raise and I earned a promotion with a new job!  However, that "extra" money can easily get lost in the shuffle if I don't make a plan.  I have to admit my husband is a little better about taking any extra earning right out of the regular bank account and stockpiling for an unexpected repair or need.  Me..not so much.  I start thinking about all the things I can now but with that extra boost and if I am honest, most of them are not needs at all but luxuries I feel I "deserve." My plan this year is to erase that mindset and look towards to the long term.  We have three larger debts I am planning to attack this year.  I don't feel comfortable giving totals but I will say one is a credit card, one is a a low interest consumer loan left over from our short sale in 2010, and my new Highlander. We are already paying more than minimums and on the right track but I want to see more progress!  In order to do so I am going to be more intentional with how we spend our money and where it goes.  I will be working on revising our budget this weekend now that I have a more realistic idea of my new earnings.  I am also scouring the web for easy ways to save a little more money where we can. No brainers like saving electricity, meal planning, making lists before shopping...all the easy stuff that goes out he window when you wait until you are hungry and tired.

Happy New Year!

Hello 2015!  I had an amazing last day of 2015. I spent the day with my sweetheart doing things we both enjoy.  No fancy parties or anything like that just us riding back country roads and stopping along the way. For me, it was the best NYE ever and so appropriate. Our number one goal remains to strengthen our marriage. My other goals or plans for the year are still working themselves out but I have lots of ideas and am super excited to see what this year brings.

Here is to a new year filled with health, happiness, blessings and fun!

DK

Kindergarten

It is that time if year! School starts in just a few days and we are sending our little boy off to Kindergarten.  We attended orientation at his school earlier this week and he was able to see his desk, check out the classroom, and meet his new teacher. I am so excited for him and even more proud. Emory has worked so hard this year and has found his place at a fantastic school. I am so pleased with our decision to keep him at his current school for another year.  Time certainly does pass so quickly but I committed to staying in these moments.

Disappointment

Dealing with disappointment is just part of life, right?  Earlier this week, I had to deal with disappointment.  Something Nick and I had planned on came to a sudden halt.  And I have to say my emotions got the better of both of us for that day.  We were upset that our plan had been changed and to be honest that we had lost control of what would happen next.  So I did what any person would do. I sulked, cried, and sought counsel of good friends.  One of my good friends, A, sent me something that stuck with me and applies to dealing with any unexpected event. Day 1) Pity Party, Day 2) Whirl of Fixing, and Day 3)Acceptance.  I choose to takes those days in 24 hour increments and just as she said as I am entering Day 3 acceptance has set it.  You see this bump is only a bump.  It isn't the end of the world unless I allow it to be.  My blessings still far outweigh what I deserve and it the grand plan God knows what we need, when, and how.  So today I am at peace.  I am going to stop fretting and allow the plan to unfold because I believe with all sincerity I am not the one in control.   You have probably noticed that I never have said what the actual disappointment was and I won't because in the big picture it doesn't really matter.  What really matters is how we chose to respond.

I am going to stop trying to...

..be two people at one time.  You see since I became a mom nearly 5 years ago I have developed a bit of a split personality.  I have tried to be a stay at home mom and a working mom all rolled into one.  You can't do it! The result of this is an immense load of guilt when you feel as you are failing in one area or the other.  Let me clarify and say that my family is my priority over work but that does not mean I have to feel bad for giving an honest day's effort in the office or putting time into my career.  I recently read a totally enlightening article which talked about how all moms whether you stay home, work at home, or outside of the home have insecurities about the path they have choosen.  Everyone has hard days and feeling of guilt.  This article also explained that your child's ultimate happiness is connected to your happiness.  Mama is happy=kids are happy. GENIUS!

For me, this struggle to be two people at once has not benefited me or my family. In fact, the end result is an emotionally strained and exhausted mommy.  I truly believe God has placed me where I am for this season and I need to embrace it. No more comparisons, no more feeling less than another parent.  My husband and I work very hard to make a sure our children are well taken care of in all aspects.  Certainly, there is no shame in that.  I plan to flush of all of those negative messages of "mommy wars."  Motherhood and parenting is hard enough with adding any additional pressure on ourselves.

Summer is Summer

Leia has adopted a love of reading.  She loves to read book and have them read to her.  She will bring a book over to either her daddy or me and say, "Be book" with a slight inflection in her voice.   In 2 year old speak with is actually "read book?" Each night we read stack of board book and other books of her choosing.  Her favorite is a book called, " Summer is Summer."  I am not sure why she is drawn to it.  Maybe it is because she is a Summer baby.   It is a book that is short on words and gorgeous pictures.  It walks through all of the things we associate with the Summer season such as the beach, fireflies, and ice cream.  I love this book too because it reminds of all the things we should take time to enjoy during this time of year.  It is no secret that Fall is my favorite time of year but this year I have been careful not to wish away Summer.  The days are longer and you just feel relaxed.

Fall brings about the start of a new school year and Emory's first year of Kindergarten.  Nick will return to school for his program and soccer will start.  Sunday school classes will begin at Church and life just gets a little..well busier.  Now, don't get me wrong I will be doing my normal happy dance as the Fall decorations and scents roll out, the weather cools, Football starts, and the leaves begin to fall.  But for now, I am going to soak in all the scents, sights, and tastes that Summer has to offer.  I will leave you with a quote from Leia's favorite book.

"And that's how it goes when a rose is a rose, and Summer is Summer is Summer."