Mornings

I have a big secret for you...I am kind of a morning person.  Not peppy, tap dancing kind of morning person but a I like to get up early when it is quiet person.  Every work day without fail, I am the first person up in our home and that is the way I like it. I can shower or get dressed using little light, creep down the stairs to get my coffee, do a quick chore, finish getting myself ready, and pack whatever I need for the kids/myself all before anyone gets out of bed. Most days I even fit in time to ready a morning devotional a few verses from my Bible.  It is very peaceful to me. Sometimes this desire to be up before the house bleeds over into the weekend. We all know our bodies get used to a routine and my body is used to being up no later than 5am during the week so usually on weekends I start to stir at that time. Depending on how I feel, I may choose to force myself back to sleep or that desire for solitude takes over so I get up.

This morning was one of those days. I looked at the clock and it was 5:30am. I thought that was a little ridiculous so I stayed in bed a little longer. By 6:23am I was ready to get up and have some quiet time.  I have a whole 15 minutes before my little morning person, Emory was creeping around upstairs. However, he and I have a system. He gets up and head to the couch to snuggle under a quilt with his choice of TV programming (PBS, Sprout, or Disney) and I get my time to drink coffee while surfing the net. This is a treat for him because he doesn't get a lot of screen time during our busy work weeks and Daddy prefers him not to watch too  much Disney. It is treat for me because I can "waste" time while drinking coffee in my pajamas (crazy hair and all!). Today is an even more special treat because my hubby brought home donuts yesterday from a local bakery...yum!

So are you a morning person, night owl, middle of the day kind of person?

"She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants." Proverbs 31:15

2014

I rang in 2014 with a virus rather than a bang! I slept through midnight to get much needed rest. And you know what? I am totally cool with that!  We worked on NYE and had no real plans so it was fine. I did enjoy a lazy day of on New Year's Day.

In the last few weeks of 2013, I started thinking about my goals for the New Year. Though I am still working on real defined goals, my over all focus is to spend a little more time working on me. The kids are doing great and will naturally take what they need. Nick's job is great and his is plugging along in his class. So this year, I am planning to put a little more effort into myself so I continue to take care of my family. Here are a few things I am doing or plan to do in 2014.

-Wednesday night Bible Study starting January 8
-Yoga classes-I bought a 31 pack of classes to use over the next year with Christmas money.
-Work out a minimum of 2 times per week at work. The goal is at least Tuesday and Thursday.
-Use at least one day of annual leave per quarter just for me. I will use this day to get a pedicure, hike, go to lunch with a friend or do a home project.
-Read more. I have loaded lots of books on my Kindle, some fiction and some non-fiction.
-Update my resume. Do some career planning. Take a continuing education class or two.
-Be more intentional about my friendships. See friends who I have not seen in too long!

These are just a few goals I have set for myself this year. I hope this year has started off well for everyone!

Christmas was awesome because....

-My Saviour was born.
-Family, friends, and tastey treats.
-A husband who went out shopping, wrapped presents, and shared the excitement of Christmas with his children.
-A little boy who is convinced the Polar Express is coming on Christmas Eve, uses a light saber to battle his daddy, and doesn't forget it is Jesus' birthday.
-A little girl in prissy dresses, a baby doll stroller, and loved unwrapping presents.
-Friends who stop by on Thursday nights just to hang. (Love you CF)
-Work brunches with the most amazing food.
-Warm cinnamon rolls and hot coffee on Chirstmas morning.
-My sister, Ali, bought me new Pajaamas.
-Homemade gifts inspired by Pinterest.
-A few days off with the hubby.
-We baked Kiernan cookies.

I love Christmas every year but this year was particularly amazing. My heart was focused where it should be and for the most part I avoided the usual overwhelmed feeling. I enjoyed a few days and actually took time for myself and Nick.  I am still enjoying the Christmas light and decorations in our home for a few days longer. I am sad to see the season go but glad to be into a fresh new year.

Holidays

As the month of November began, in normal fashion there has been an influx of commericials and media focused on the holidays.  The "self help" articles are all over the place as well.  How to enjoy the holidays, make it less stressful, more simple, etc.  While I appreciate and have read may of those types of articles, this year it seems uneccessary to me.  I am not stressed about the holidays. I have purchased a few items already and have ideas for others. I am not focused on making it perfect, attending so many events, and anything of the sort. I am so much more focused on being with my family and being thankful for what we have.  I want to enjoy the time off with my family at home, that is really the best gift at all. We are already so abudently blessed that is not one gift was under our tree or stockings were empty we would be far better off than most people throughout the world.  So as Thanksgiving approaches, I am going to truly thank God for the blessings and provisions he has given to me not because an article told me to but because it is what is in my heart.

Marriage

 This Sunday our family had family pictures taken. It was the first time we had has pictures professionally taken as a family since having our children. Why did it take so long? Well it is kind of a long story but let's just say it had to to with my insecurities. I didn't see us as a "normal" family, you know the kind that could smile happily in pictures. My endless game of comparisons had crippled me and how I viewed my marriage, our parenting, our home, and sometimes though I hate to admit it...my children. But the last couple of months through deepening my relationship with Christ, I am starting to let that go. I don't need to hide because we aren't perfect because no one is. Perfect is an unattainable goal that I put on myself because I think I need to control things. My desire to control, though I did not make this connection before, was really based on my inability to trust God to do His job.  I had to be ready to "pick up the slack" when He failed. Awful, I know.  My evaluation of God was based on my experiences with people, eventually they disappoint you so God must do that too, right? WRONG! So slowly I have been replacing my thoughts with prayer and promises of future, believing the best rather than prepping for the worst.

 So what does this have to do with my marriage you ask? All of these issues and these expectations of disappointment impacted my relationship with my husband. I expected him to disappoint me so I avoided engaging in many commitments where he would "fail" me. Commitments like...taking family pictures. Rather than saving myself from disappointment, it had to reverse impact. He could feel my bar was set low for him and he stopped trying as hard. I won't say that overnight we have had a dramatic change but slowly in recent weeks we are making our way out of the fog of past disappointments We are communicating more, hugging more often and spending time as a family. My personal spiritual journey is continuing as I have returned to Church and spend time in God's word almost daily.

After taking our pictures this weekend and before going to bed Sunday night, I thanked NK for taking the time to but outfits, corraling kids, and taking family pictures with me. I also explained to him it is amazing what happens when I stop the comparisons and that I him more now than ever.

Who would have thought the person you were actually married to could turn out to be the perfect marriage God intended? :o)

Welcome Autumn

So you know I would pop back up during this time of year, right? The leaves are changing and falling. The nights and mornings are cooler. (Now if the days would just follow suit) Yes, it is Autumn. My favorite time of year. As you have heard on the news, the federal government is shutdown which means I am experiencing an unexpected and unpaid vacation. I have been catching up a few things around here and trying to get some extra rest after experiencing three migraine headaches since Sunday morning. Anyway, today is yoga day. I AM going to yoga this morning and running few errands while the kiddos go to school. I have lots of things to share and can't wait to start writing more frequently.

Here a few things you can expect to see:

-How a produce delivery service is changing my meal planning
-Yoga, it does a mama good
-Being happy where you are planted

I could go on and on! For now I will just say, the kids are great, hubby's job is much more stable than mine (go figure), E is in soccer, NK is taking a night class, the baby girl is a hot mess, and mama is still as imperfect as ever!

The Marathon

I am not really what I would call a "runner" but I do a enjoy a good jog. I have even have run some 5K races in my time and even once did a half marathon.  So I am familiar with the concept that the last few miles at the hardest. I have found the same to be true with nursing. Long before Leia was conceived, I made a goal that with my next child I would nurse until at least 1 year. I also told myself supplementing would not be the end of the world since it would lessen stress and ultimately enable to enjoy nursing more (still working on that one after 1.5 months).  And though it is not easy having to venture down the road of pumping, we are so close. As in 22 days close.  And just like running, I am struggling to stay motivated. Not with the nursing. I am good with that but the PUMPING.  I am over it! Oh sure, we were good friends for a while but I have been hooked to my pump a minimum of four times a day on most work days and to be honest she (the pump) is not all the that interesting anymore. She has nothing new to say just the same old, same old. ;o) So this week I made a choice to cut back on one pump per day and opt instead to hit the gym. So far so good and not really getting less milk yet.  And doing something for me and my body has given a much needed mood boost. I have already been slacking on my nighttime pump because let's be honest, hooking yourself up to machine doesn't really set the mood for sleep.
So has the world ended? Nope. Does L suddenly reject me? Nope. Are we nursing exclusively on days away from work? You bet. So just like running, the end miles are tough but baby, once you see that finish line you pick it up right? No one slows down before the finish like...they take a deep breath and keep trucking. 
That is what this mama is going to do. Don't get me wrong, I am not going back to more pumps. Can't do it. However, I am going to focus of eating well, drinking more water, exercising and taking care of me. I really have no set plan on weaning or really stopping pumping altogether. To be honest I haven't really thought much past the one year mark.

For now, I am staying focused on the finish line.