Prior to having my son, I was a runner. Now I don't mean a hard core marathon gal but I ran all the same. I started getting the feel of running for something other than a sport towards the end of my college days at MBC. After I graduated and began working in the city, I assimilated to the metro culture and began running during my lunch break. The height of my running career was in September 2007 when I ran the USMC half-marathon. It was an awesome experience and something I never dreamed I would accomplish. I continued to run after than and even into my pregnancy. I actually completed a 10K with my fellow MBC gals when I was 15 weeks pregnant and that was it until after E was born. I did find other ways to exercise that were a little more comfortable. Since I had E, I have ran less than a dozen times for whatever the reason (excuse). I remember going for a run last November while NK watched E and feeling so joyful I wanted to cry. It wasn't long but it meant everything to me.
After getting beyond those first euphoric months and returning to work, I have continued to have this little nagging feeling that something was off balance. Not matter what I have tried to do, it never seemed to fully go away and today I finally realized why. I am missing part of me. Running has been part of me for nearly 10 years. It has been a source of stress relief and mental therapy that is better than any money could buy. It is part of who I was/am without any strings attached, just me, my music, and the road. From time to time, I gain a partner but I can honestly say I am completely content to go by myself.
This thought process has also made me realize something else. For the past year, I have been putting off buying a jogging stroller. I blamed it the cost of even the lack of color selection but I now know that has nothing to do with it. Running was part of the 'old me', the me before I had a baby and forever became a mother. Part of me, through that little voice was struggling to keep just one thing to myself. When I run, I am not a mom or even a wife ...I am just me.
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