Almost 2013

I cannot believe it is almost a new year! Where does the time go? Oh right, the time goes by carrying a baby, raising a toddler, being a wife, working, and enjoying life.  As I look back on the year, it is amazing how blessed we have been. We have two beautiful children, two jobs, a house, and people who loves us. What more can you really ask for? While I am a little sad to see 2012 end, I am looking foward to 2013 and all the joys to come.  In just a few more weeks, my husband and I will be celebrating 14 years of marriage. That's right 14!  It is a lot of work, I mean  A LOT but we are both are committed now more than even to having a better marriage. That is my number one goal for 2013. Over the next day or two I am going to take some time to reflect of what is important to me and the goals I really want to pursue this upcoming year. Hope you all have a wonderful rest of 2012 with your loved ones!

Struggling with my new normal

Quite a lot has changed in our family since the last time I have posted, which is in part why I have been posting regular.  We are B U S Y!   At the beginning of October, NK surrendered his role as a SAHD and returned to work. He is back working in the field he loves and plans to spend the rest of his career working in.  It was an amazing opportunity that he could not or should not have passed up.  However, as you can imagine this has changed our family routine and dynamic.  I truly feel that God lead this change and that it will have a positive impact on all of us but getting into a rhythm has been rough.  NK is enjoying his new job and life outside of the home. It has allowed him a different perspective on the time he has with our children. Overall, I think he is a happier person.  L has taken to her class and teachers with no issues. She is a happy, easy going baby.  So that is two of us who are close to well adjusted....what about the other two? Well, considering the HUGE amount of change he has experienced since July E is doing amazing but there are still days. Days when I struggle to get him out the door in the morning, days where he cries when I drop him off, days he is acting out at school and home.  Those are the hardest days for me. The overwhelming sense of guilt and failure can be crippling.   And as a result, there are days that I am coming apart at the seams. Since my return to work I have lost or misplaced the following; my camera, L's insurance card, a credit card, and my ATM card. Nice, huh?  My brain is still suffering from "mommy brain syndrome" and it can be extremely frustrating.  So with all that being said, I have decided to begin making one of my favorite four letter words my new theme...GRACE.  I am going to starting granting grace not only to my family but  to myself.  (Heck, I may even start granting it to those crazy commuting drivers or less than tolerable work acquaintances! But first baby steps...)  I am not going to get angry if NK needs an extra sleep occasionally after being outside at work all week.  I am not going to tie myself up in knots when I hear E has again has a day where he is testing boundaries. I am not going to bash myself for being less that perfect.  Perfection is overrated anyway, right? ;o) I am also going to PRAY often.  Praying for my family is the best thing I can really do for them in situations in which I have no control.  So I am going to let go and let GOD! Taking time to pray, read scripture, and meditate brings me the most amazing sense of peace to which nothing else can compare. This is life I have been given so rather than fighting against it, it is about time I make peace and enjoy it!

On a lighter note, I hope that everyone is enjoying these days leading up to the holidays. I love this time of year and find it passes to quickly if you let it.