In Love Again

I always wonder how much is too much to share when blogging. However, I have found writing to be theraputic in helping me to resolve things that are weighing me down.  There is a freedom in releasing my thoughts even if no one else but me ever reads it. 

 My husband and I have been married 15 years.  As I have said before, there have been good times and bad. We have some much history that sometimes that it in itself clouds our vision and leads to resentment, anger, and hurt.  When we feel this way, it triggers responses neither one of us is proud of.

 During a recent arguement the issue of feeling "in love again" came up. We both want to feel that longing for one another that comes with new love.  Not the immature lust (thought truth me told, I'd like that too!) but the feeling of wanting to be together and missing one another when you aren't together.  In my attempt to maintain honesty here, if no where else, I am not sure that can happen. Is it possible to push away the past, let your guard down, and openly love again?  Maybe.  Is is going to take an intense amount of work? Most certainly.  Am I willing to put that in?  Not sure. You see I have taught myself to live in survival mode, check off the to do list, and as long as no one's boast is rocked I am good to go.  But is that really living?   Is that the life God intended for me, my husband, or my children? So maybe it is like any other long term goal where you have to put in the work and at first you see no real glimpse of the end in sight but after a while you see a little light and then a little more. 

Friends, today is not a day where I see any light.  I am back at point A or even further. I know if I am objective that we have a great thing going here but it sure is a lot of work.   When I break it down I have two choices, keep working or give up.  So today eventhough my fleshly selfish tendencies are attempting to take over I am going to find a way to restart, take it one day at a time with the end in mine.

Comfort found in a bowl of oatmeal...

There are many days when my mama guilt seeps in and I allow myself to wallow in mama guilt when I drop my children off at their schools in the morning. But then there are days like today when I see the love their teachers have for them and take such good care of them. I see how well they adjust to the routine and enjoy being there. 

This morning I watched my little princess go into her class in time for breakfast.  She sat down and waited patiently for the teachers to serve her a tiny cup of oatmeal with fresh sliced pears. She was just too precious.

I headed next to drop off little handsome.  Breakfast was technically over and was time for clean up but the teachers offered him breakfast anyway. The teacher knew his favorite flavor and it totally set his tone for the morning.  She was added in organic raisins as I left. All the while, his lead teacher was telling me what an awesome day he had yesterday.

So today, there is no guilt only peace and affirmation that Nick and I have made amazing choice for our children.

Who knew there could be so much comfort found in a bowl of oatmeal? As a matter of fact, I think I will whip some up for myself now!

Pantry Challenge

I will need to go back and update you all on the rest of our Spring Break, it was awesome.  We are not back in full swing with a new work/school week almost over.  I have been getting by this week by throwing a few things together for dinner.  Last night, Nick and I did break down and share an entree from out local Italian restaurant which is much cheaper than out normal dining out options. So it order to combat the overspending in this area, I spent a little time trying to map out a meal plan for us based on our well stocked freezer, fridge, and pantry.  So here ya go!

Breakfast
Scrambled Eggs with Cheese, Toast
Peanut Butter Pancakes (previously made and frozen)
Waffles
Eggs, Grits, and Bacon
Oatmeal with Frozen Berries
French Toast, Bacon
Trader Joes Frozen Blueberry Waffles
*I will need to buy bacon.

Lunches - This category is really for me during the week  or weekends since hubby is on the road and the kids' meals are served through their school.
PBJ, Turkey/Ham, Tuna, or Egg Salad Sandwiches with Chips
Trader Joes Orange Chicken, Basmati Rice, Sauteed Peas
Chicken Nuggets, Tater Tots, Applesauce
Quinoa with Kale (frozen), Sauteed Carrots
Whole Wheat Boxes Mac and Cheese with Apple Slices

Dinner
Crock Pot Country Style Pork Ribs, Sweet Potatoes, Steamed Frozen Broccoli with Cheddar
Lemon Thyme Chicken Thighs, TJs Mushroom Alfredo, Peas
Crock Pot Chicken Tacos with Corn Tortillas, Spring Mix, and Store Bought Salsa
Taco Soup with Corn Bread  *Need Beans for this recipe, green chilies, maybe tomatoes

Snacks
Yogurt with Granola, Frozen Berries
Trail Mix with Nuts, Dried Fruit, and Pretzels
Air Popped Popcorn
Apple Slices with Peanut Butter
Smoothies
Crackers with Peanut Butter or Cheese Slices, Grapes

WOW! This is all the things we actually have in our house already with just a few exceptions. I am totally shocked. Putting this plan together will help me navigate through our stock pile saving time, stress, and money.  I am going to write this on a sheet of paper and post it on our fridge!

There is always an assumption that one day over the weekend we may do dinner out as a family or grill so I have some wiggle room here.

Spring Break Check In

It has been a good week so far! We kicked off our Spring Break by attending a Passover Sedar at our friends' new home.  The kids has a wonderful time and I was so happy to participate in their family tradition.  I learned a little about the rules and traditions of Passover for their family and enjoyed some amazing food! I am not sure exactly what I expected but for a carb loving girl, I found plenty of delicious options and left with a full tummy.

Yesterday was more of a mama day. The kids slept in until they woke up which is a treat in itself.  Emory and I dropped off Leia at her daycare and we enjoyed a breakfast date a Panera.  I didn't realize how long it has been since we had done that until we sat down and I snapped a picture. Emory has his staple that he loves, the Cinnamon Crunch Bagel with LOTS of butter and a chocolate milk.  As for me, I change up my entree a little bit but always have the Hazelnut coffee with raw sugar, half/half, and a sprinkle of cinnamon.  It is delicious! After dropping off Emory, I went back home to do some task on my list.

I took the mid week day off to meet my friend, E, for lunch a Pho restaurant.  We are more than slightly obsessed with it and do not have it often.  It isn't really a place to bring the kids.  There is just something about small kids and a steaming bowl of soup that doesn't mix well! After lunch, we headed to mall for a couple of hours of shopping.  All in all it was a great way to spend my afternoon.

I did early pick up for the kids and we came home to make Resurrection Rolls. You can find the recipe and the special meaning here.  The rolls were delicious!!
http://womenlivingwell.org/2013/03/3-meaningful-easter-activities-for-kids/

The evening was pretty standard with outside playtime, baths, and bed. Today we are heading to Mount Vernon Estate for a play date.  It is beautiful property with plenty of space for kids to explore.  I am looking forward to a low key afternoon and naps when we return.

Getting over yourself

Have you ever had a moment when you knew you were standing in your own way or making something harder than it needed to be?  We use a phrase around here, "Get over yourself. "   That is what I had to do regarding an issue recently.  I will attempt to keep this as short and sweet as possible. About 6 years ago, my husband found my "dream car" for me through an on line search.  It was a gently used Toyota Highlander. Isn't she pretty?!?

Well that was back in 2008 and while for many years the Highlander was sheltered from the daily commute into the city, this changed as of last year when Nick returned to full time work.  I no longer felt comfortable using my various non-driving commuting options for fear of needing to be pickup a sick child from daycare.  Plus those other methods are more time consuming as you have to wait for a ride of adhere to a bus schedule. And let's just say after a year and a half I still can't quite nail down a finite schedule.  For me, I need to have flexibility to adjust to temper tantrums, milk spills, etc. I digress...

The time has come for me to make a permanent switch to our other vehicle, a much newer and still fully loaded Toyota Camry. It is newer, has better fuel efficiency, and all around a better choice for me to drive on a daily basis.  However, I can't possibly drive two cars at once so that would mean my precious Highlander would go to my husband for his daily 14 mile commute to his meeting spot.

Easy decision, right?  Nope, because I DIDN'T WANNA!! My poor husband even tried to work a plan where he would get my old Highlander and we could trade in the PAID OFF Camry on a newer Highlander.  However when we rain the numbers, we weren't willing to take out a loan for the amount needed to finance a the newer Highlander.  Total brat, huh?  So after resisting for all this time, I finally sucked it up and decided to make the change. Of course this decision to change came at 5:40am yesterday morning.  My gracious husband quickly vacuumed out the "boy dirt,"secured the care seats, and had the care running for us to head off to daycare.

It is so hard to put our wants aside for the good of the family. To rank wants vs. needs. However, this is the best financial choice for our family and I know sometime in the not so distance future when my debt is reduced and savings are increased I will be able to get a newer Highlander without any guilt.

Spring Break

I remember when I was in school how much I looked forward to seasonal breaks.  In fact, it was one of the biggest disappointments when graduating and joining the real world.  Spring break, Christmas break, and Summer break no longer had the same meaning that is until I had children.  For the past few years I have really only taken a break in the summer and at Christmas but this year I made a "resolution" to take more time during the traditional breaks during the year to spend with my children.  This is enhanced by the fact that Emory is now attending a school versus a child care center so the breaks are embedded into the calendar. (They do continue to provide care throughout the week). So this week I will be departing a little early on Tuesday afternoon and taking off the rest of the week.   I am excited about spending time with our friend and family as well as accomplishing a few forgotten tasks.  Here is what we have on tap so far!

-Passover Dinner with our friends the Lummers on Tuesday
-Mama day on Wednesday-Lunch with my friend E and shopping!
-Gardening-Cleaning up flower beds, mulching, starting seeds, and maybe planting a few purchases flowers
-Dying Easter Eggs
-E to Flashlight Easter Egg Hunt with Grammy on Thursday evening
-Panera Breakfast
-Barber Shop for E
-L to the mall for new shoes that properly fit
-Park and snack picnics in the afternoon
-Library visit
-Making Easter crafts/food-Resurrection Rolls and cookies
-Easter Service at Church
-Easter dinner with family
-New bikes???

These are just a few of the things I am excited about for the week, we will see how the week pans out.  My main goal is to do some inexpensive but out of the house activities with the kids so they can enjoy "Spring Break."

Spring has arrived!

I am a Fall gal, always have been but let me say after all the snow storms we have had in Virginia this year I am ready for Spring.  And as it always does the switch has flipped and things are blooming.  I am really enjoying the nicer weather and preparing for Easter.  This year my intention is to focus much more on the meaning of Easter, Christ's Resurrection.  This can be a challenging topic to relay to younger children but I am thankful to our church and lots of Christian blogs who offer great resources.  My plan is to keep focus each day on Easter and do something special with my children.  Yesterday was the kick off with our Easter celebration at church.  We had a wonderful time, hunting eggs, jumping on moon bounces, playing on the playground, eating snacks, and making crafts.  All while enjoying a beautiful day outside.  (I may or may not have ended up with sunburn...) Today is Palm Sunday and will head to church in a few hours. I will try to come back and post our daily on goings.  For now, here are some picture of my little ones enjoying the day.