Hello from the Future...

Wow! Years, it has been years since I even thought about writing a blog post. Quite frankly I had forgotten how to even find it. But when you are 11 months into a global pandemic and looking for hobbies that bring you joy but keep you home (and are free), you end up here. So here I am, totally and utterly different from where I was when I started this mama blog. I am still imperfect, as you may have guessed. 

No longer the mama of littles, my children have grown and I am 40...yep, 40! In fact, I am quickly approaching 41 later this month. My son is in his first year of (virtual) middle school and my daughter in 3rd grade homeschool (more on that another time). I still work from time but these days it is from home but still a federal employee. We live in a different house. Still married ❤. 

So that is the brief update, no preset direction for the blog just dusting things off and hopefully the next post isn't years away! Stay well friends. 

Growing Pains

I love that Blogger does not erase your blog no matter how much you neglect it! It has been about a year since I have blogged, so hard to believe! As I may have mentioned, I left my job with Navy in December 2014 and started with a different federal agencies. The transition was tough at time and while I am sure I am not fully acclimated, I feel a lot more confident and settled.

When I say tough, I mean character is questioned, people throwing you under the bus, and you end up with Shingles tough. I am so lucky that I had people who believed in me and supported me a long the way. I also had to really self examine and realize what worked for me before just wasn't going to cut it in my new job.

Getting Shingles was a big deal to me, I realized how much I was being physically impacted by the stress and I am sure I was no prize with my family. I was almost ready to leave, as in called  my old boss and cried "uncle." However, something just didn't feel right about that decision, like I was giving up and that is just not who I am. So I made a choice, I was not longer going to work so hard to impress people. I was going to work hard and as long as I knew God saw me, that would be enough. I humbled myself in the areas where I knew I was lacking and built up those skills. Again, I am sure not "there" yet but the way I feel and the feedback I have received is so very different.

In addition to work, I made some decisions regarding my health. I have known for some time that exercise is my release. It is my time to reflect and work out emotions, a break from the day. So I started exercising again at lunch and it has made such a difference in my outlook, my anxiety is almost gone and overall I feel better.

So what's the point? Well for me, it is that I can't give up when faced with a challenge. If you do, you don't know what is waiting on the other side. And take care of yourself! Wives and mothers work so hard to care for their families and homes, that they are left short. You can only do this for so long because eventually it will catch up...in an illness, in turmoil at home...something.

I hope to blog occasionally as another way of releasing emotions in safe way. Happy Sunday and Happy Fall Y'all!

Things that bring my joy

Do you ever go through you day and feel like you did a bunch of stuff for everyone else but yourself? Do you think, oh I will get around to doing a girl's night or a mom's day out? I can be the same way. It left me feeling empty and frustrated. And even when I did take the time to do something special, I didn't usually walk away with the magical refresh I had hoped for because there had been such drought in between.

 Now, I fully recognize this was a choice I was making. It made me cranky and overwhelmed so I decided to start making some changes to help put in some joy for me each day. I haven't quite mastered it yet but I am learning. Here are few examples:

1) Candles- I love them so each morning when I come downstairs, I light one. It reminds me to say a prayer of peace and make me happy. I do the same when I get home.

2) Music- I am listening to music I enjoy...everywhere! At home, in my office, on my commute. My choices change daily but thanks to Amazon Prime, I have lots of preset playlists to choose from.

3) Exercise- I leave my desk most days for some kind of exercise. I got to the gym or take a walk outside. Something to help care for me physically and

4) Coffee/Tea- I treat myself to a cup of tea or coffee in the afternoon. It helps me relax and gives me a boost for my commute.

Adding in a few easy things has made a big difference for me. Don't wait to enjoy life until a special occasion, may everyday special!

Laundry

Like many busy families, the task of keeping up with laundry can be a challenge. I have started doing a few thing that have made it easier to keep up and have changed my mindset so I thought I'd share.

1) I try to do one load per day several days a week. Sort at night, wash in the morning. If I time it right, I can get it into the dryer by the time we leave the house for the day. I either fold  at night or the next morning.

2) I sort all the clean clothes in to individual baskets by person. This makes the putting away so much easier! I am no longer running room to room.

3) I am constantly downsizing clothes. The kids have too much, we all have too much!  I am not where I want to be yet, but I am working on it. Less clothes means, less pile up.

4) Having a washer, dryer, and clothes is a blessing. We sometimes overlook the simple things. I remind myself that this chore is a sign of how blessed I am to have family, clothes to wear, and live in a home with all these conveniences.

Change is hard

Change is hard for me. It has been almost a year since I left my job and started a new job with a completely new federal agency. It has been tough in ways I did not expect. I assumed I'd have to adjust to new people and a new culture, but I never expected to lose my reputation or to miss my people so much. I was with my old agency for 12.5 years, I started right out college and while I moved around a few times there was usually a familiar face on the other side. Someone who knew me, who knew my work, etc.  My new job has a familiar face or two but now in my direct chain of command. The learning curve have been super steep and the stress level can be high.  I have doubted myself more times than I can count.  I have tried hard to make a good impression, making concessions that sometimes made me feel sad inside. I have been more tired, more snippy, more anxious. It is like I have spent the better part of a year in a vacuum. It has been tough. 

And oh my gosh, how I have missed my people. The people I had been sharing life with for years and working towards a common goal. Those I could turn to for work or personal problems and left there desk feeling better.

The flip side of this has been an immense amount of personal and professional growth. Each day, I am proving to myself how tough I can be in the face of adversity and how I can adapt when I am constantly being stretched beyond my comfort zone. And I am making new friendships, slowly learning to trust people and allowing my personality to come out. I also know I am pretty darn good at my new job, I have learned so much in a short amount of time. 

So I am not ready to give up...yet. I realize I have some personal adjustments I need to make to help me better deal with the new environment. I am working through those now and hoping to put some better habits firmly in place. For me this is a great time of year to do this, the pace is slowing somewhat at work just in time with the holiday season where I intend to focus on gratitude and celebrating joy everyday. 

I am smart enough, I am good enough, and I can do this!

Rainy Saturday

Yesterday, my husband took a plane to the deep south (Louisiana) to attend a friend's wedding so the kids and I are on our own.  Does anyone else feel like you have no idea of how much your partner actually does until they are gone for a few day? Yeah, I am there. Anyway the kids and I got past the first day of weirdness and moving onto Saturday but it is raining.  o cancelled are my water park plans and I am working on a plan B.  Although, the idea of staying in my pjs with the kids all day sounds amazing the reality would make for a really long day. So Plan B is to head to the Public Library and then take a trip to one of the Trader Joe's in our area.  That at least fills up part of the day until nap time for L.  Then who knows?

Totally random and unrelated but did anyone else know the Dollar Tree now carries soy based candles? Woo hoo!

HAPPY SATURDAY!

I am still eating

Blogs are like a good friend, they understand you life gets out of control and when you ready they are waiting for you. No judgement, no explanation needed. My "What's for dinner" page was started to talk about how cooking at home can be awesome and to share some of family favorite recipes.  I think now as we try to reign in our household spending, I may incorporate my meal planning.  I normally only plan dinner because we are either out of house for the other meal, eating different meals, or occasionally eating out.

Thursday, June 18 (NPK class night): Scrambled Eggs with Cheese, Toast, Banasa

Friday, June 19 (Mama worked late): Crock Pot BBQ County Style Pork Ribs, Basmati Rice, and Green Beans

Saturday, June 20: Stuffed Peppers

Sunday, June 21: Father's Day Plan to be Determined

Monday, June 22: Crock Pot Whole Roasted Chicken

Tuesday, June 23: Leftovers

Wednesday, June 24: Chicken Pot Pie (using leftover chicken)

Thursday, June 25: Tacos or Chili

I have assigned days to these but normally things are flexible.